Lagoon Featured Model: Isaiah Lucas

28
Mar
0

LAGOON FEATURED MODEL: Isaiah Lucas

I am not going to lie. I screwed up a little. I forgot the MODEL in the last blog. So… I got to thinking.. Why not give the models their OWN BLOG? is that too much to ask. I mean… They are sexy.. They take great pictures… They deserve their own entry. OK, enough talking more modeling. Here is Isaiah Lucas. Enjoy.

LAGOON

LAGOON

You can find more pictures on our facebook

We are going to keep a collection of ALL the models there for your enjoyment; for everyone’s enjoyment.

We will be featuring one model per week until we run out of models… or weeks.

Thanks again to Vanessa Athens @VanessaAthens for putting this together, and to Hansel Tsai for your photography skills.

Check our store for frequently updated merchandise, and if you want the SEAFOAM shirt (a Jessica Frease design) you can get them from Café Press here: Cafe Press

Short. Sweet. Models.

Well, not that the models are short, or sweet for that matter. I’ve never actually tasted a model. Wait, I take that back. There was that one time I tasted in a model in Mexico. At least part of a model.

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Lagoon Update: FINALLY, Man-Made Awesome, News… and Stuff

23
Mar
0

OH MY IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO LONG!

So… what happened?

Well, a couple things:

1. I went on a fatcation. That’s slightly different from a vacation; you replace all other physical activities with eating.

2. @davidtornado broke the blog. I would be mad at him but he was trying to make it better. And by better, I mean he was going to implement a poop colored theme. Sawweeeeetttttt.

I have missed you so much. What have you been up to? Hahaha, like you can actually talk back to me. I feel like you’re the type of person that also names their soap. How’s Charlie… you know… Charlie your soap bar?

 

WE’RE MOVING…. NOT FAR…. NOT BACK TO TUCSON

So after 2 years in our current home we decided to vacate. As sad as it might be… All of the Lagoonies will not be living together. @Davidtornado and his wonderful wife Heidi are headed to the quaint and hip locale of Jamaica Plain. Me, @lagoonmarisa, and @macpattys are headed to the boisterous party central area near the BU campus (I expect Pat and I to be drinking nothing but $2.50 PBR’s for the next year or two).

Looks like we are going to start up playing shows again in June after the album is done…

Wait… did you catch that…

I said DONE.

So, although you might think we have been slowly drowning ourselves in malt, liquor and any combination of the two, we have actually been working steadily on the album. We only have ONE SONG left to record and send off to LA.

If you are wondering about the process… let me explain. We record the songs. We send the tracks to my good friend Jeff in Hollywood, who then rubs himself all over them. Finally we master them, and they come out sounding like our last two singles: New Singles

Here is a photo of Jeff in action:

LAGOON

HOLY SH*T PEOPLE ACTUALLY DID THAT?

So, this section of the blog was inspired by  watching the national geographic channel in flannel pants. I happened to flip to this amazing documentary called “Wild China.” All I can say is, “WOW.” Aside from the awesome wrinkly old dude who uses sparrow-nesting omens to plant his rice crop, there was an insane visual representation of the Great Wall.

Uh… over 8,000 kilometers built by hand. For a second ( a brief second), I was so utterly disgusted by my own milkshake drinking laziness that a popped out of my couch groove. As I grew faint from the violent way I disrupted by posture, I began to wonder about what other fantabulous things people have built?

#4 Angkor Wat?

Why it’s cool?

Built initially in 1113BC this thing is old, I mean… even older than @davidtornado. Not only that, the towers look like penises or boobs. Anything that can look kinda like a penis and kinda like a boob has to be awesome.

LAGOON

What was it?

Part city capital- part religious center-all awesome.

What is it now?

A place to take your snot nosed kids… as long as you are willing to brave Cambodia, malaria filled mosquitoes, and 600,000 other tourists.

#3 The Acropolis

Why it’s cool?

First settled in 5000 BC, it houses one of my favorite structures: The Parthenon. This gigantic marble structure was built to honor Athena. She is so awesome… She popped out of Zeus’s head fully armed, and even gave birth a child through her leg. Immaculate? Oh ya.

What was it?

Aside from having the most awesome name on the list, this hilltop was the cultural center of Athens Greece, the modern day equivalent to say… well Capitol Hill minus the partisan assholes it now harbors. Yes that was a political slight… in some way. Err, ok…

What is it now?

LAGOON

This wonderful Show went on from 1989 to 1992 (and this is not a joke).

Here’s a brief synopsis:

 Papa departs on a visit to his beloved Greece, but his heart stays behind in Melbourne, Australia. Rather than entrust his beloved Acropolis café to his only son, Jim, he insists on putting someone more sensible in charge. Jim’s pal, Ricky, has brains – he’s been a College student! But even Ricky can’t restrain Jim from going ahead with a great new plan… Jim wants to make the Acropolis the ‘in’ place to be seen – resulting in a goldmine, mate! He renovates and renames all that’s left of Papa’s quiet domain, except his trusted waiter, Memo, who’s the epitome of the Greek male. “Acropolis Now” is born. But where are the yuppies? Family and friends are still dropping in for the occasional free meal. Ricky can’t see any profits, and Jim can’t get away from his other inheritance – being Greek.

#2 The Pyramids at Giza

Why is it cool?

It’s a big fucking Triangle, or Pyramid rather. It’s big… It’s pointy. How cool is that though. Honestly, so cooooool. Some things are just better when they are big. Yuck Yuck.

LAGOON

What was it?

It was a place for my ancestors to die, and for Egyptians to pay homage to pharaohs. It’s funny to think that now-a-days, when people die, we either burn them or chuck em in the ground in a box.

Sad, no one is going to build you a GIGANTIC STONE PYRAMID are they? Imagine if people starting building your tomb the day you were born. Thousands of slaves working and smoothing limestone blocks. Uh… That is such a very odd thought.

Also imagine getting buried with all your worldly possessions? A chamber full of old video games and unused Kayak racks. It sucks even more for the people who outlive you: No inheritance, no extra goats, no extra wives. I am not going to lie, that would work in preventing trust-fund babies like my landlords from being born.

What is it now?

Same shit, different day. No honestly, it’s amazingly well preserved. I am starting to think my answer to “what is it now” is going to be the same for all of these. IT’S A DAMN TOURIST ATTRACTION. Nice category Jake… grr..

#1 Chichén Itzá

Why is it cool?

The coolest thing about Chicken Pizza, aside from being gigantic and stone, is that it was where the Mayans sacrificed humans. Lets just go down our list of awesomeness shall we?

Gigantic – Check
Man-Made – Check
Killed Humans – Check
Played games with their heads – Check
Hidden in the Jungle- Check
Panthers – Check
Mel Gibson movie made about it? – Check

LAGOON

What was it?

Part temple, part city, this place was fed water year round by converging underground rivers. Until… you know, when the Mayans decided to fly off in their space ship and make stupid predictions about the future that would ultimately lead to John Cusack playing a lead roll in an action film. I am sure if they realized that was going to happen, it would have been more like 2212. Long after John was dead.

What is it now?

No longer as awesome, because it has been associated with John Sucksack.

So, dont leave me, please…. baby… dont… DONT LEAVE ME

If you enjoy this blog, our music, and general distaste for anything John Cusack has done after High Fidelity please join us on these fabulous social networks.

LAGOON

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Lagoon Update: Why is this late? Happy Birthday Patttttty, WHALES

1
Mar
0

Hi friends. I am sorry this is late. It’s a good kind of late… Not the “oh crap time to buy a preggo test” kinda late. If that last comment did not give it away, this blog is intended for adult audiences, or rebels.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATTY

Our wonderful, skillful, and recently tan guitarist @macpattys turned 30 today. Amazing. I am really happy that 30 is the new 20, which makes 20 the new 10 and explains why I act like a 16 year old and my pubic hair has still not filled in. PATCHY.

LAGOON

This weekend the goons went out for a night of drinking (Except for @lagoonmarisa who was living it up in LA with @thehawkshow and rubbing elbows with big wigs and making fart jokes inappropriately) That’s why this update is late. That’s why my head still hurts. That’s why I shaved my mustache? GOULET!

 

Go Speed Racer, go!

Hi. So… You might wonder why the next single hasn’t already come out. Well… This is the exciting… We are literally a few weeks away from having the ENTIRE album recorded. We made up a lot of ground these last few months not playing shows, so the next release of Lagoon music “should” be the full album. Which I know you are all excited for. Which I know you really really really really want. Which I know you can barely contain yourself thinking about. Which I know, personally, makes me happy.

LAGOON

 

To tide you over, since it’s going to make a while to mix/master the new material, I would like to reiterate that our first two albums are free on our website. GO LOVE ON IT.

Also, we had a great show last weekend and it was great seeing everyone! Also, thanks a bunch to The Narrow Channels for having us out. If you haven’t already, be sure to go check out their myspace, love on their music too. I am really excited to hear their new stuff.

How Many Times Does it Take??!!

Here is a bit of truth: I don’t care how much you LOVE a wild animal, one day it will kill you. Why do people think that if they care about an animal enough it will forget that it was designed (genetically) to eviscerate and eat other things?

LAGOON

Yes, I am directly referring to what happened recently when an orca whale killed a trainer at Seaworld. I would like to quote an interview from the Associated Press. This is what Seaword released as the reason the whale bit Dawn Brancheau’s neck.

“Brancheau reportedly had that long ponytail that the whale grabbed onto because she was growing out her hair to donate it to “Locks of Love” for cancer patients.”

Yes, and by the same logic this whale must HATE cancer patients. Fucking cancer loving head-eating whale. It could not possibly be the fact Seaworld has incarcerated an incredibly intelligent vicious SIX TON eating machine in a pool, so your snot nosed ice cream eating little cretin can giggle at it.

Don’t get me wrong, my first stuffed animal (which I still have) is named “Whaley.” I love it. But, NO WILD ANIMAL WAS MEANT FOR HUMAN ENTERTAINMENT

And, to add insult to injury, (as I kept reading through this article APPAULED) I would like to quote Gary Wilson, from Moorpark “wild animal and dipshit training” College in California

“If it was a perfect world we wouldn’t need to have any animals in captivity, but the reality is in order to learn about these animals and to actually ensure their survival in the wild, we need to have them in captivity so we can study them and people can learn to appreciate them,” Wilson said. “If SeaWorld didn’t have dolphins and whales in captivity, there would be many fewer people in the world that even cared about them at all.”

 
It’s called a Zoo motherfucker. Captivity… Fine… Playing games with balls, jumping through hoops, taking commands, giving cute little humans rides on their backy backs, how does that, in anyway, educate people? It just sponsors another generation of people who think that wild animals just love to play with brightly colored objects while being gently caressed by human faces.

It is not your job, Gary, to tend to the dreams of failed oceanography majors by running a school whose ultimate job is to simply delay its own students inevitable mauling. Wild animals do not need training, they need to be left alone. Get it?

Sadly, I am sitting here tending to my so called “domesticated” cat inflicted wounds and I can’t help wonder; Is everyone just insane? This world is perfect already, Gary. It is these abortions of he natural order that are screwing this place up.

LAGOON

And now, this weeks captive human model:

LAGOON FEATURED MODEL: Phoenix Skye

Not only did I grow up near Phoenix, but @macpatty has the Phoenix symbol tattooed on his arm, the band Phoenix is cool, and like a Phoenix I have risen from the ashes to write you blogs. Incredible. Just like these pictures.

LAGOON

LAGOON

You can find more pictures on our facebook

We are going to keep a collection of ALL the models there for your enjoyment; for everyone’s enjoyment.

We will be featuring one model per week until we run out of models… or weeks.

Thanks again to Vanessa Athens @VanessaAthens for putting this together, and to Hansel Tsai for your photography skills.

Check our store for frequently updated merchandise, and if you want the SEAFOAM shirt (a Jessica Frease design) you can get them from Café Press here: Cafe Press

=(

I am sorry if all the cussing, cursing, swearing, swill-talking, sailor-speaking has insulted you in anyway. I bet you like the abuse. In fact, I bet you want more of it. So here it is. WHIPLASH BABY.

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www.facebook.com/lagoonband

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