Lagoon Update: Tickles and Peanuts, 12for12k

28
Sep
2

(for all the free lagoon tunes you can possibly digest and not get sick on: www.lagoononline.com)

12for12k

Before I get down to the normal band news I want to take a moment bring everyone’s attention to a great cause.

Tomorrow, September 29th is going to be an ALL DAY tweet-a-thon to raise money for the charity Doctors Without Borders starting at 12am: http://12for12k.org/events/

@HennArtOnline will be tweeting for 24 hours straight to try to raise $12,000. You should definitely add her, and help spread the word! Also, check out the page and see what you can do to help and possibly be a part of a Guiness Book Record!

(A very special congrats to @mickeyGomez and @ramartijr for bringing this is our attention and helping make this work!)

As you know, Lagoon is dedicated to bringing love and attention to the right causes. Take a moment and see what you can do.

http://12for12k.org/events/

BAND NEWS

So, lots of stuff ON THE MOVE already. Our 4th song is currently in LA being mixed, our 5th song is almost done. We are planning to get a single released very soon, and we are all extremely excited about how it is turning out.

Also, my good friend Jeff will be headed out to Boston in early October to help finalize some stuff regarding our recordings. We will have much more news coming out quickly regarding the Tucson Arizona show on Saturday October 24th. Be excited.

To tide you over, here is a cool picture of @lagoonpmac
http://12for12k.org/events/

Tickles and Peanuts

Say hello to my 16 year old self:

 Man, look at that shirt

I figured for today’s Lagoon Update I would treat everyone to a little bit of my horrible past with women. I have not always been the ladies man I am today (HA HA). Lets go back… way back… all the way to 1999 in a Subway Sandwich shop.

(At this point, please imagine a Wayne’s World type flashback, complete with cool hand dancing, wavy lines ands whimsical music).

         “Extra Tomatoes please,” I said as her fingers loosely separate the juicy slices. She took such care in removing the ones with green spots. “Is that all,” She said with a smile. “Yes, that’s perfect.” Everyday, I would drive an extra 10 miles and wait 10 minutes in line just so I could have one or two lines of meaningless dialogue with this girl. She was my Subway obsession.
            One day in the spring of 1999, or in Arizona we like to call it February, I arrived early to find that no one was making sandwiches. Actually, it looked like no one was working. I wandered around awkwardly for a few minutes before I finally looked around the corner and said, “hello?” I heard a rustling from the kitchen, then a loud bang followed by an intense yelp.
            “Are you ok?” I said leaning over the glass. For a few moments there was no response. Weird noises continued until finally my lady’s head popped around the corner. “ I’m fine. I am just the only one here… And the lettuce… The lettuce is everywhere. Would you mind just coming back in a few minutes?” I paused for a second and sucked up every bit of 16-year-old balls I had and said, “Well, how about I help you?”
          Before she could respond I had grabbed the broom from the corner, and whisked back into kitchen where it looked like 50 heads of lettuce had just thrown up. I started on the floor, and she focused on counters. We worked so frantically that we didn’t even talk, and magically, fatefully, not a soul walked in the front door.
            When we got done I said, “Well miss, I will take a sandwich please, with…” “Extra tomatoes,” she said finishing my sentence. I started to say something, but stopped mid-sentence letting out an awkward squeak instead of words. I again watched her meticulously build my sandwich, as at least 8 people walked in the door and piled up behind me. She bagged my sandwich, rang me up, and before I could even say goodbye she motioned to the next guy in line and said, “What can I get for you?”
              I was so dejected. My golden opportunity lost. My one moment of chivalry wasted. Then I realized I had forgotten to buy a soda! I got back in line. I waited 10 more minutes, got a soda, opened my mouth and…. “Ok who’s next,” she said, cutting me off. “Fuck!” I thought to myself. Maybe it was my new found level of testosterone, or my lack of caffeine, but I then just blurted out, “Lets go out sometime.” There was a very long and unnerving pause by everyone in line. “I mean… You know… How about I just get your number?” I said playing it off. The girl looked at me, smiled, and wrote her number on the back of my receipt.
              I remember thinking “Stephanie, what a great name,” but I don’t remember leaving the store (it is my belief that I literally floated to my car). I called her that night and we had a long and wonderful conversation. We even set up a date for Saturday. We were going to meet for a day of fun at CrackerJacks, the local putt-putt golf and arcade.
            By the time Saturday rolled around I knew exactly what I was going to wear, what I was going to say, and how I was going to act. I had it planned down to the very moment that I would move in to kiss her. We would embrace in passion, our lives intertwined as one person. I knew in my heart that I could love this girl forever.
           We played Putt-Putt, and went to the batting cages. We even got some ice cream and sat on a cement block outside. We talked about life, school, which classes we loved, and what things we hated. The only hiccup occurred when we started playing in the arcade. In a moment of passion I smacked her in the face with one of those mallets used to bang moles. “Are you ok?!?” “I am fine,” she said laughing and holding her face. I touched the small of her back and moved forward to see if she was bleeding. At that moment she squirmed violently and said, “I am sooooo ticklish.”
            By this time it was after 4pm and my heart sank as I saw the silhouette of her mom’s car pull in front of the large clear entrance doors. The carriage to take my slipper-less princess away had arrived. My moment was now or never. We both stood up, and hand-in-hand we strolled slowly through the crowds of people bustling in. About 10 yards from the door I said something sarcastic. Stephanie turned and gave me a light punch on the arm. Out of instinct, I went for a tickle… And I was about to learn how ticklish some people really are.
           The moment my fingers touched the side of Stephanie her entire body flexed. Every one of her muscles convulsed, her arms pushed inwards, and her knees bent. What I did not realize would happen, but what was the result of my tickle, was the loudest and most disgusting fart I have ever heard in my life. The sheer volume of it baffles me to this day. It must have been stored at incredible pressures in her gut. It came out in three or four waves of rushing air, as I believe the embarrassment of the first one just made every thing even tenser.
          People stopped dead in their tracks to see what was going on. At this moment, as horrible as it sounds, I was laughing hysterically. With My eyes watering, I could barely stand. The smell was awful. It was like a mix between roasted peanuts and rotten baby food. The whole gaseous event lasted at least 10 seconds, as waves of the tremors from the initial quake rippled through the crowds of now laughing people.
         The last I ever saw of Stephanie was her running through the large glass doors out towards her mom’s car. I tried calling a few times to no avail. All I will ever have is my memories, my memories of the smallest girl with the loudest… uh… laugh?

Don’t forget to come visit us on facebook: www.facebook.com/lagoonband

If you like our band, and you like what we do, all we ask is that you talk about us. Come say hi, download our tunes, tell a friend. That’s all it takes =)

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