Lagoon Update: BOO! Get Down!

2
Aug
0

 
So, I know it’s been a while- some might say a long time. And it’s true… Sorry.
 

So what’s been going on?
 

We had a couple of shows… and if you missed it too bad… AHAHAH. It was great to play at the Middle East and the Cantab again.
 
On a completely unrelated side note:

My mom called me the other day (she does this frequently) and she asked how the show at the Cantab went. I said it went fine, Marisa (our drummer, nurrrr) played really well, we had a lot of fun, yada yada yada – essentially the exact same conversation I’ve had with my mom about every concert I’ve ever played.

 

Except… One thing… my mom made a comment about the name “ohhhh, Cantab that’s so clever.” I just nervously responded… Oh ya.. it’s so clever… At the time I had NO IDEA what she was talking about, or what the name Cantab could possibly be about.
 

LAGOON

 
Nope… not Can’t Ab.
 

 
OH I’m RETARDED CAN TAB.
 

LAGOON

 

NUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr

 

Ok, Really. So what’s been going on?

 
You might wonder why we have been so quiet? It’s not really anything fun like Pat got cancer and died. It’s more regular run-of-the-mill stuff like pat ran away to Taiwan, or Tahiti, or Thailand (it’s something that starts with a T).
 
I wish I was joking, but he’s gone.
 
We considered calling the police until we saw he was still updating his facebook with pictures: 

 

LAGOON

 
Then we realized that everything is normal, and that’s just Pat being Pat.

 

 *****

So, we have decided to take some time off- You know Lagoon, we never take time off *cough*- Until pat comes back. We THINK he’ll be popping through our door in a couple of weeks.
 

Then we are going to gear right up with another online concert! YAY INTERNETS!
  

Check this Ish Out!

 

Our friend and all around Stud , Gustave Cadet, set up a really awesome site featuring some amazing artists in all forms- an aggregate collection of interesting works.

I recommend you check it out. Now. No seriously. Right now. It’s a great way to lose some time!
 

Insert (inspiration)
 

If you don’t, you’re just another ne’er-do-well
 

 
 

SOME OF YOU MIGHT WONDER
 

What I have been concerning myself with over these last couple months – so here you go – all compiled in a neat little list.
 

1. I am ecstatic that the Cardinals finally got a QB that isn’t Matt Leinhart. I might actually consider picking up Fitzy on my fantasy team. YES FANTASY IS CLOSE.
 
2. I just noticed that they finally raised the debt ceiling – politics aside – WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG
 
3. I read somewhere that they have been making headway in the treatment of Down ’s syndrome. That’s right, the TREATMENT. I thought that was amazing, and proof we are almost exactly like mice.
 
4. 3 of my orchids are blooming, and I couldn’t be happier. I would have made this #3 but seeing 3. 3 next to each other was really confusing, and I hate typing out the world three. DAMINT. DAAA MINT.
 
5. I just heard that Red Wine can prevent sunburn… This is not a joke, and explains why my girlfriend heals so quickly from being a lobster.
 
6. Marisa and I won the B league softball Bronze level championship. I have the mug to prove it.
 
7. From what I can gather, David is still president and CEO of awesome- but polls show that Ron Perlman is gaining steadily in popularity.
 
8. Pat really is not in the US, while he is gone I’ve been storing cat feces in his room and the smell has actually IMPROVED.
 
9. I’ve been collecting cat feces.
 

Damn It Cohagen

 

 
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Zunelagoonband

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Lagoon Update: Cheeseburger, Internet Show, The Middle East, Geography

12
Apr
0

 

A new approach

 
Hi friends, it’s good to see you. Happy they finally let you out.
 
 

Time to make love to the Internet

 
No, I did not say “ON” the internet, so your hopes of seeing some sort of Lagoon incestual dance is not going to happen. And seriously, get checked out. You’re sick.
 
We have decided that we are going to start streaming live concerts from our Studio in Boston MA (want to know more about the studio? Go here )
 
 
WHY you might ask? A few reasons…
 
1. Because we can- the technology is there, and we found a way to get GREAT live sound (it’s a secret) – Also Ustream allows us to do this for free with multiple camera angles.
 
2. Everyone can join us – literally everyone
 
3. We hope to expand this show to more acts, have other local artists
 
Pretty cool eh?
 
Let’s go over some details.
 
This show is going to be Friday May 27th at 9pm EST broadcasting LIVE from Lagoon’s Tornado Shelter in Boston MA on our Ustream Site (There’s not much up there now except a test – and someone was a little out of tune)
 
We will also probably be drinking… Wait… Not probably… We will also be drinking, so this is going to be an overall fun time.
 
I’ll update you all closer to the show, and David is going to be designing a stellar poster.
 
   
 

Time to make love to the Middle East

   
 
LAGOON
 

Not sure how you want to interpret that headline, but… The Middle East  is an awesome club in Cambridge. We love playing there.
 
We figured since we’re doing an internet show we should ALSO do a live show. We don’t want you to think we are going soft.
 
Here are some tentative details (the date is set in stone):
 
Where: The Middle East  in Cambridge
When: Thursday June 30th
Why: Because it’s been too damn long.
 
This will be our first concert since our 3rd album released…. Wait… You did know our third album came out right? Well if you didn’t, please go buy it. I am not going to fluff around, it’s the only reason why we exist on this earth (link/picture goes to itunes, but it’s on every other site imaginable just search Lagoon Gemini).
 



 
We hope to see you there, and… Again… We’ll update you with the full list of bands, and a sweet ass poster soon.
 
 

Why do some states hate us?

 
LAGOON
 
We, as a band, love to track our site statistics. We have had enormous success with our homepage in hits, downloads (our first two albums and previews of our third are free), and even the blog… this blog… the exact same one you are reading.
 
However, recently we have noticed a disturbing trend.
 
Certain states just don’t like our website ( I had to reference a map since I’m Stoopid):
 
Maine
Ohio
South Dakota
Idaho
Nevada
New Mexico
Kansas
Arkansas
Missispippippiiiiippiiiipi
Kentucky
North Carolina
Delaware
 
Hawaii
Alaska
 
Some of these states I can fully understand- like Delaware which is not really a state

Also Kansas – cows can’t type- Arkansas for the same reason.

The one that really bothers me… Nevada!? Really? C’mon… We’ve played shows there; we’ve gambled and hooked there. Just bothers me.
 
Half of Indonesia has clicked on our website, but we can’t even get all of America. I feel like a failure. Know of anyone who lives in these crapholes? Get them to click on our site, and I wont call their home a craphole.
 
   

Old Picture – New Fun

 
My sister, Marisa (the damn drummer in this band), went back to our hometown last week and scanned a whole bunch of old photos. Nothing good can come of this.
 
Let me present to you my ~10 year old self:
 
LAGOON
 
 

Maybe it’s just me… But I did not reminisce when I saw this. I did not question where I was, or who took the picture. I did not even comment on my impressive watch…
 
 
 

The only think I could think of was….
   
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
LAGOON
 
 
The internet has changed me.
 
 

FEATURED POSTER

 
 
For those of you who don’t know, and if you don’t know this shit by now it’s really a shame, @Davidtornado our lead singer is also the mastermind behind all the designs on our website, posters, tee-shirts… everything except Pat’s wardrobe.
 
The band has been together since 2003, that’s 8 years of shows, that’s a shit ton of posters.
 
So we decided to dig some old ones up, and feature them on the blog and the facebook (full gallery in the facebook)
 
 

Enjoy

 
 
LAGOON
 

NO OFFENSE LARRY

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Lagoon – Gemini has Landed! Apollo Program Announced!

4
Apr
0

 
 
 

Fin.

 

 
 
Can you believe it? No, honestly, can you?

 
It has been exactly two years since we broke ground (and wind) on our third album, and now it is DONE. Phew!
 



 
Clicking on the picture above goes directly to itunes, but you might prefer any of the following:

Cdbaby

Amazon
Zune
 
 Ahahah, our music is on Zune. Sorry… We really are pulling out all the stops.
 
This was an endeavor to say the least, we are so happy to have it done, and so excited to get it to you.
 
Right now this is only a digital release, so make sure to pick up a copy of the liner notes off our website – for free of course – what kind of asses would charge for liner notes- that’s like sitting down to a fancy dinner and having to buy a napkin.
 
 


Photo of a big bunny rabbit!

(click picture for an awesome @davidtornado designed .pdf )
 

Please let us know what you think, let us know what you love, what you hate, and what you want to see more of.

   
 

That’s the good news….
   
 
 
What about the great news?!?

 
 
 
 
LAGOON
   
 

No I don’t have a goiter… And that is not great…. What the F is wrong with you?
 
  

The great news is that we have already lined up album #4 which we will start recording in August – So all your feedback we’re going to use to tailor this album, hone it in, draw our sites, hit our mark, nail it on the head… You get it.
 
Also, if you were wondering, we are not going to call the new album Apollo- Nothing against the lord of the sun (dont want to anger him).
 
 
LAGOON
  
 
 
 
 

Heart

 
Some of you might wonder why it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. It’s pretty simple: I wanted to make sure I addressed you when I had something substantial, something meaningful.
 
It’s hard sometimes – the life we have chosen. It has such incredible peaks followed by the lowest of lows (read over the past blogs on this site and you can see for yourself). However, every time we’ve felt we were on the brink, about the lose it all, something comes along and pushes us forward… has to be something to that?
 
Thank you to all our fans that have made this worth it. I hope you know that all our work goes to you, we just want to make you happy, and blast your ear drums with glory.
 

 
 
 
 

BRACKETSUCKOLOGY

   
 
LAGOON
 
   
 
On a completely unrelated note, my March Madness Bracket is so F’ed. Even without playing tonight’s championship game, David has claimed victory:
   
 
LAGOON
 

NO OFFENSE LARRY

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Lagoon Update: Dude Where’s my Van? Maslow’s Hierarchy of Losing Things

11
Aug
0

 
LAGOON
 

(Marisa getting ready to rock)
 
 
 

Show Review!

 
 
On the hierarchy of “losing things” your vehicle tends to be a priority, so you could imagine our amazement when we walked out to corner to find that our extremely large bright red van missing.
 
LAGOON
 
“Hum… I know for a fact I parked the van here,” said Pat.
 

And then it started raining.
 

Marisa had already claimed my umbrella for her hair which was frizzing itself into a knot. The rest of us reached for our phones and madly started googling. I think my first entry was “My can was Towde” (Give me a break, it’s a new phone and I am just learning). Within minutes, we determined the Red Beast was being held at a nearby impound lot.
 

With less than an hour until we had to load in for the show, we were all happy that retrieving our van was relatively easy. Handing over money for something we never wanted done in the first place proved to be more difficult. I remember the stale impound office room, at least one sweaty overweight man judging us, while the other happily rang Pat’s credit card. $$
 
 
LAGOON
 

On our way to get our equipment, I remember staring out the window hoping that this was the last strange thing to happen that night.

 
LAGOON
 

A few seconds later we lightly struck a mail truck (Incriminating picture has been purposefully left off).
 

When we arrived at the Middle East I felt much more at ease. We spent some time enjoying drinks and food in the lobby with some friends. In retrospect, beans, grease, and heavy spices were probably the last thing I should have eaten. I did not know that the stage was going to sweat up like a sauna… I got very few hugs after the show. David got a lot of hugs…

 
LAGOON
 

 
LAGOON
 

The concert went very well. I should have brought up a second bottle of water (or beer?). If one were to judge our performance based on how much bodily fluid we were covered in, I would say we did swimmingly.  Things got even more interesting the second we got off the stage. I had an argument with the booking lady, Pat had an argument with a cab driver, everyone else drank  and slipped away.

 
LAGOON
 

LAGOON
 
 
LAGOON
   
 

No Bodily Harm 

 
Let us for a second return to our previous graph.
 
LAGOON
 

It’s not something we did on purpose, but in the mess of loading out our equipment, recounting the night’s activities, and drinking we lost someone. I mean, full on lost someone. Let me clarify, it’s not that we just “left” someone at the club or at the practice space. We simply lost a human being. They got out of the van when no one was around and just wandered off. It is the exact same feeling you have when you lose a dog, a drunk dog, a large drunk dog, a large really drunk dog that’s actually a person.
 

We managed to scrounge up a couple large Mag-lights and began scouring the neighborhood. I think David’s neighbors thought:
 
 
A. We murdered someone and was burying them in a hole dug from inebriated screams.
B. We had lost our dog, but we were going about retrieving him in a way that would simply scare him more.
C. We were so drunk that we thought flashlights talked to Jesus.
 
 

Now, the most interesting fact is that this person (who shall remain namless) some how slipped passed all our searching, responded to ZERO name calls, ducked under the cover of the night and crawled BACK into the rear of the van. Pat, who was driving, suddenly realized some other human had just flopped down on the cold metal floor. He was now asleep. We had found him.
 

Where he was, what he did, and why he did it shall remain a mystery.
 

As we pulled away, David texted me almost immediately after. Apparently a bat had gotten into his house. If this had anything to do with the fact we covered the True Blood theme song at the show I don’t know. I would like to think it did.
 

****Imagine X-Files Theme****
 

And now for a picture trip through the rest of our weekend.

 
LAGOON
 

 
LAGOON
 

 
LAGOON
 

COME SAY HI ON THINGS

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Lagoon Update: Defining ‘Modern’ Malay Womanhood and the Messages of the Veil

10
Sep
0

(www.lagoononline.com)

Well look who finally decided to show up… Sheesh. I thought I was going to have to yank your arm. YANK.

Lets get down to business shall we?

Defining ‘Modern’ Malay womanhood… what!?

So out of boredom I googled myself. Don’t lie, I know you’ve done it, and I know that’s not the worst thing you’ve done to yourself today. Oddly enough someone with my name co-authored an article called “Defining ‘Modern’ Malay Womanhood and the  Messages of the Veil.” Pretty awesome. Lol.

So Sexy

(They really are a stunning people, aren’t they?)

         So what about BAND related stuff… well let me tell you, we’ve been doing a lot. @davidtornado has been slaving to finish up some parts as well as write some pretty awesome new stuff. The greatest thing about recording is being able to realize and bring forth all the subtle nuances. 4th song should be done very soon, then it’s off to LA for another round of lovin.

            For our Boston fans, we booked a show in November at Copperfields near Fenway on the 6th (it’s a Friday) at 11pm. We also now have a show booked at Alchemist Lounge in Jamaica Plain that following week, November 12th. I love the Alchemist shows for a few reasons; they are free, intimate setting, lots and lots and lots of drinks. Expect the string of shows to continue through the winter, we are here to warm your cockles.

        For our Arizona fans, we’ll see you in Tucson October 24th at Plush. Now that’s going to be insane!

         So, as you know, I love to making friends, networking, chatting with wonderful people such as yourself. What you thought I forgot about you? Never. I love you. Healthy love. Ok crap, totally off track.  So, a good friend of mine (@DJ_Aphrodite) is going to be putting our tunes on her internet radio show over at www.krushradio.com, it’s a really awesome program so make sure to check her out Fridays 10-12am.

“So, are you broken or just BROKE?”

         Thanks to everyone who offered me support while I had my brief stay in the hospital. Turned out to be a badly sprained shoulder, and a deep cut in my elbow, as well as a nice bruise on my hip. Better to be on the side of caution though. Time to buy a helmet; I realized how easily I could have murdered myself. Tree roots are evil.

Here are some pretty injury pictures (if you are squeamish or just a pussy I would skip this part).

Instead of going to the hospital, I thought it would be smart to just come home, wash up, take a shot of whiskey and go to bed. I woke up to blood soaked sheets. I should have gotten stitches. Alas, it was too late:

elbow

I am a little excited to watch the colors of this bruise to heal. This is on my hip bone.

 

hip

REVIEW THIS

So my friend Jessica told me about something fun…. Reviewing products on Amazon.com. I know what you are thinking… “what the hell, that is not fun…” Well it is when you do fake reviews. Mwhahahah.

So the product I chose to review was a nail gun:

The Factory-Reconditioned Bostitch U/BT200K-2 5/8-Inch to 2-Inch 18 Gauge Brad Nailer

Nail This

Dear Amazon, 

         I bought the Factory-Reconditioned Bostitch Brad Nailer for my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago for his birthday. I thought it would be a funny joke because… well… I’ve been nailing Brad for a few years now. But let me tell you something, this is NOT a toy.
           Brad is a “go getter” person, and the same afternoon he went out and purchased the “air blower upper thing” you needed to power the gun. After fifteen minutes of arguing, Brad decided to use the gun to nail together a piece of unassembled IKEA furniture. I found this sort of amusing, and to be honest, it is far more stable than any dining set I’ve ever seen.
            The next morning I found that Brad had nailed every piece of clothing I own to the walls around my house. Even some kitchen appliances were suspended like hanging tree fruit from the ceiling, each one with a single nail and the cord meticulously wrapped around it. I later found a note… Yes… Nailed to the door that read, “Taking my new friend for a walk.”
              That night everything got a little worse. Just as advertised, this nail gun is WHISPER quiet. So quiet that I never heard Brad powering it up when he decided to jump on my bed and discharge nails into my pillow around my sleeping face and head. This gave me quite a fright, but Brad told me the gun had told him to do it, and that he couldn’t stop.
                In the first week of having this, we went through 4,000 dollars worth of nails. Brad was consumed, and nailed together many things he called “wigwam statues.” He said the Nailer liked them, and needed them to consume the souls of lesser men. Part of me was happy for Brad, he finally found a creative outlet, and I even brought one of the statues to a friend of mine who is an art dealer. One of his “pieces” will be on display September 22nd, at the Center Street art festival.
              Unfortunately, the good luck came to an end just a few days ago when Brad purchased 3 more Bostitch nail guns. He had planned to tape them to his feet and climb up the side our neighbor’s house. Amazingly, he  made it up about 20 feet before the air hose got caught on a tree branch and broke his spider-like stride. In frenzy, he discharged at least 200 nails in all directions shattering windows and lodging into trees as he fell to the ground. The doctor spent 4 hours later that night pulling nails from Brad’s white fleshy body.
           It is not that I wouldn’t recommend this product, for all that is happened it truly has functioned really well. I am just unsure whether or not this “reaction” is commonplace. Brad and I have since grown apart, well, relationship wise. I still visit him often and even bring him his unpowered Bostitch gun to the hospital where he will be taking his extended stay, pending a psychiatric evaluation.

-Julie Myers

Again, I really wish I was there to see this person read this. Ha. Feel free to check out the review on Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00066N884/ref=cm_cr_mts_prod_img (It takes 48 hours for them to post the review, so it might not be up just yet)

Until next time kiddies….
Make sure to say hi on twitter: @lagoonband
Or find us on facebook: www.facebook.com/lagoonband
Or come visit me at my home address: 1199 Yafuckingright avenue

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Lagoon Update: First song to LA, Birth Control?

30
Jul
1

A Milestone has been reached

So, yesterday we sent our first completed and arranged song to LA to be mixed. The track name is “protocol,” and for those of you who have been to our live performances will know that this is one of my favorite songs (I tend to jump around a lot). Ok… Lagoon is cruising. It is amazing how much more you can accomplish when you focus on one thing and don’t have to deal with all the crapola that is associated with playing shows. Don’t get me wrong, playing shows is what I live for, it is like a drug; the only drug I know of where they pay you to take it. Also, we’ll be playing shows again starting in September. Don’t cry. It’ll be ok. And if you do cry, save your tears because I LOVE bathing in tears, and rubbing sadness in every pore of my body until I burst.

LAGOON

Ok, on to the shenanigans

PLAN B

I have no idea how this came up in casual conversation, but I still find it amazing that one popular brand of morning after pill is called “Plan B.” I have only had to use this on one occasion (Actually the girl used it. If I did I would probably look different. MAN BOOBS). However, it occurred to me that the name is really horrible. The morning after pill is only Plan B? I figured it would be farther down the line of preemptive maneuvers:

Ok, for example:

Plan A- Abstinence


If you don’t have sex you wont have a baby, this is 100% effective

Humpy no humpy

 

Plan B- Condoms
Cheap, effective, smell awful

Latex smells rancid!

Plan C- Use Birth Control

Get tested for STDS, get on birth control, and screw like rabbits… ahhhh
(Fact: Actually, the morning after pill is the same hormones as birth control just in higher dosage.)

Pushy Pushy

Pland D- Diaphragms


I don’t know how these work. I only know they look like gnome hats

GNOMES!!!!!!

Plan E- The Pull Out Method

I personally cant do this, I struggle.

PULL OUT QUICK

Plan F- Pray


I have heard if you pray for a baby to go away it will

Dear lord de-fetus me

 

Plan G- Morning after pill

Realistically, the morning after pill should be further down the list. Not only is it embarrassing to buy, it also makes the person who takes it pretty sick… like vomitty sick. I have decided that I will write a letter to the makes of Plan B. It will include the previous plans, but also will expand further in more detail:

Plan H- Keep the child put it up for adoption

I am sure someone would love a child from my glorious genetics

I love you billy!!!!!!

Plan I- Keep the child, gain custody, raise it

Take the toothless prostitute mother to court after you plant drugs on her (if she is already addicted to drugs that makes this easier)

Your mother was a whore billy!

Plan J- Get the child aborted at a reputable clinic

 Many doctors will do this for you, if that is what you choose

Plan K- Coat Hanger

No doctor will do this for you unless you are in Tijuana

for clothes only

Plan L – Sell the child on the black market

If the child is a boy you can demand a premiun in Asian markets

Helicopter lift off!!

Plan M- Sell the Child’s body parts

lol.

oooo, ground human meat!

(Please note that plans H through M, as well as some earlier are jokes, I don’t want to step on at TOES here, or any babies for that matter. Ahahahahahahaah)

Until Next Time

I know that Dave is finishing up a blog pretty soon about trip to vermont and our awesome fourth of July. If any of you guys have any questions, suggestions, or just want to shoot the shit, feel free to drop me a line either on twitter or Facebook. Oh ya! we got our new facebook URL too: www.facebook.com/lagoonband (creative right?)

 I cant tell you guys how excited we all are about the new album! booya!

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