Lagoon Update: BOO! Get Down!

2
Aug
0

 
So, I know it’s been a while- some might say a long time. And it’s true… Sorry.
 

So what’s been going on?
 

We had a couple of shows… and if you missed it too bad… AHAHAH. It was great to play at the Middle East and the Cantab again.
 
On a completely unrelated side note:

My mom called me the other day (she does this frequently) and she asked how the show at the Cantab went. I said it went fine, Marisa (our drummer, nurrrr) played really well, we had a lot of fun, yada yada yada – essentially the exact same conversation I’ve had with my mom about every concert I’ve ever played.

 

Except… One thing… my mom made a comment about the name “ohhhh, Cantab that’s so clever.” I just nervously responded… Oh ya.. it’s so clever… At the time I had NO IDEA what she was talking about, or what the name Cantab could possibly be about.
 

LAGOON

 
Nope… not Can’t Ab.
 

 
OH I’m RETARDED CAN TAB.
 

LAGOON

 

NUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr

 

Ok, Really. So what’s been going on?

 
You might wonder why we have been so quiet? It’s not really anything fun like Pat got cancer and died. It’s more regular run-of-the-mill stuff like pat ran away to Taiwan, or Tahiti, or Thailand (it’s something that starts with a T).
 
I wish I was joking, but he’s gone.
 
We considered calling the police until we saw he was still updating his facebook with pictures: 

 

LAGOON

 
Then we realized that everything is normal, and that’s just Pat being Pat.

 

 *****

So, we have decided to take some time off- You know Lagoon, we never take time off *cough*- Until pat comes back. We THINK he’ll be popping through our door in a couple of weeks.
 

Then we are going to gear right up with another online concert! YAY INTERNETS!
  

Check this Ish Out!

 

Our friend and all around Stud , Gustave Cadet, set up a really awesome site featuring some amazing artists in all forms- an aggregate collection of interesting works.

I recommend you check it out. Now. No seriously. Right now. It’s a great way to lose some time!
 

Insert (inspiration)
 

If you don’t, you’re just another ne’er-do-well
 

 
 

SOME OF YOU MIGHT WONDER
 

What I have been concerning myself with over these last couple months – so here you go – all compiled in a neat little list.
 

1. I am ecstatic that the Cardinals finally got a QB that isn’t Matt Leinhart. I might actually consider picking up Fitzy on my fantasy team. YES FANTASY IS CLOSE.
 
2. I just noticed that they finally raised the debt ceiling – politics aside – WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG
 
3. I read somewhere that they have been making headway in the treatment of Down ’s syndrome. That’s right, the TREATMENT. I thought that was amazing, and proof we are almost exactly like mice.
 
4. 3 of my orchids are blooming, and I couldn’t be happier. I would have made this #3 but seeing 3. 3 next to each other was really confusing, and I hate typing out the world three. DAMINT. DAAA MINT.
 
5. I just heard that Red Wine can prevent sunburn… This is not a joke, and explains why my girlfriend heals so quickly from being a lobster.
 
6. Marisa and I won the B league softball Bronze level championship. I have the mug to prove it.
 
7. From what I can gather, David is still president and CEO of awesome- but polls show that Ron Perlman is gaining steadily in popularity.
 
8. Pat really is not in the US, while he is gone I’ve been storing cat feces in his room and the smell has actually IMPROVED.
 
9. I’ve been collecting cat feces.
 

Damn It Cohagen

 

 
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Lagoon Update: FINALLY, Man-Made Awesome, News… and Stuff

23
Mar
0

OH MY IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO LONG!

So… what happened?

Well, a couple things:

1. I went on a fatcation. That’s slightly different from a vacation; you replace all other physical activities with eating.

2. @davidtornado broke the blog. I would be mad at him but he was trying to make it better. And by better, I mean he was going to implement a poop colored theme. Sawweeeeetttttt.

I have missed you so much. What have you been up to? Hahaha, like you can actually talk back to me. I feel like you’re the type of person that also names their soap. How’s Charlie… you know… Charlie your soap bar?

 

WE’RE MOVING…. NOT FAR…. NOT BACK TO TUCSON

So after 2 years in our current home we decided to vacate. As sad as it might be… All of the Lagoonies will not be living together. @Davidtornado and his wonderful wife Heidi are headed to the quaint and hip locale of Jamaica Plain. Me, @lagoonmarisa, and @macpattys are headed to the boisterous party central area near the BU campus (I expect Pat and I to be drinking nothing but $2.50 PBR’s for the next year or two).

Looks like we are going to start up playing shows again in June after the album is done…

Wait… did you catch that…

I said DONE.

So, although you might think we have been slowly drowning ourselves in malt, liquor and any combination of the two, we have actually been working steadily on the album. We only have ONE SONG left to record and send off to LA.

If you are wondering about the process… let me explain. We record the songs. We send the tracks to my good friend Jeff in Hollywood, who then rubs himself all over them. Finally we master them, and they come out sounding like our last two singles: New Singles

Here is a photo of Jeff in action:

LAGOON

HOLY SH*T PEOPLE ACTUALLY DID THAT?

So, this section of the blog was inspired by  watching the national geographic channel in flannel pants. I happened to flip to this amazing documentary called “Wild China.” All I can say is, “WOW.” Aside from the awesome wrinkly old dude who uses sparrow-nesting omens to plant his rice crop, there was an insane visual representation of the Great Wall.

Uh… over 8,000 kilometers built by hand. For a second ( a brief second), I was so utterly disgusted by my own milkshake drinking laziness that a popped out of my couch groove. As I grew faint from the violent way I disrupted by posture, I began to wonder about what other fantabulous things people have built?

#4 Angkor Wat?

Why it’s cool?

Built initially in 1113BC this thing is old, I mean… even older than @davidtornado. Not only that, the towers look like penises or boobs. Anything that can look kinda like a penis and kinda like a boob has to be awesome.

LAGOON

What was it?

Part city capital- part religious center-all awesome.

What is it now?

A place to take your snot nosed kids… as long as you are willing to brave Cambodia, malaria filled mosquitoes, and 600,000 other tourists.

#3 The Acropolis

Why it’s cool?

First settled in 5000 BC, it houses one of my favorite structures: The Parthenon. This gigantic marble structure was built to honor Athena. She is so awesome… She popped out of Zeus’s head fully armed, and even gave birth a child through her leg. Immaculate? Oh ya.

What was it?

Aside from having the most awesome name on the list, this hilltop was the cultural center of Athens Greece, the modern day equivalent to say… well Capitol Hill minus the partisan assholes it now harbors. Yes that was a political slight… in some way. Err, ok…

What is it now?

LAGOON

This wonderful Show went on from 1989 to 1992 (and this is not a joke).

Here’s a brief synopsis:

 Papa departs on a visit to his beloved Greece, but his heart stays behind in Melbourne, Australia. Rather than entrust his beloved Acropolis café to his only son, Jim, he insists on putting someone more sensible in charge. Jim’s pal, Ricky, has brains – he’s been a College student! But even Ricky can’t restrain Jim from going ahead with a great new plan… Jim wants to make the Acropolis the ‘in’ place to be seen – resulting in a goldmine, mate! He renovates and renames all that’s left of Papa’s quiet domain, except his trusted waiter, Memo, who’s the epitome of the Greek male. “Acropolis Now” is born. But where are the yuppies? Family and friends are still dropping in for the occasional free meal. Ricky can’t see any profits, and Jim can’t get away from his other inheritance – being Greek.

#2 The Pyramids at Giza

Why is it cool?

It’s a big fucking Triangle, or Pyramid rather. It’s big… It’s pointy. How cool is that though. Honestly, so cooooool. Some things are just better when they are big. Yuck Yuck.

LAGOON

What was it?

It was a place for my ancestors to die, and for Egyptians to pay homage to pharaohs. It’s funny to think that now-a-days, when people die, we either burn them or chuck em in the ground in a box.

Sad, no one is going to build you a GIGANTIC STONE PYRAMID are they? Imagine if people starting building your tomb the day you were born. Thousands of slaves working and smoothing limestone blocks. Uh… That is such a very odd thought.

Also imagine getting buried with all your worldly possessions? A chamber full of old video games and unused Kayak racks. It sucks even more for the people who outlive you: No inheritance, no extra goats, no extra wives. I am not going to lie, that would work in preventing trust-fund babies like my landlords from being born.

What is it now?

Same shit, different day. No honestly, it’s amazingly well preserved. I am starting to think my answer to “what is it now” is going to be the same for all of these. IT’S A DAMN TOURIST ATTRACTION. Nice category Jake… grr..

#1 Chichén Itzá

Why is it cool?

The coolest thing about Chicken Pizza, aside from being gigantic and stone, is that it was where the Mayans sacrificed humans. Lets just go down our list of awesomeness shall we?

Gigantic – Check
Man-Made – Check
Killed Humans – Check
Played games with their heads – Check
Hidden in the Jungle- Check
Panthers – Check
Mel Gibson movie made about it? – Check

LAGOON

What was it?

Part temple, part city, this place was fed water year round by converging underground rivers. Until… you know, when the Mayans decided to fly off in their space ship and make stupid predictions about the future that would ultimately lead to John Cusack playing a lead roll in an action film. I am sure if they realized that was going to happen, it would have been more like 2212. Long after John was dead.

What is it now?

No longer as awesome, because it has been associated with John Sucksack.

So, dont leave me, please…. baby… dont… DONT LEAVE ME

If you enjoy this blog, our music, and general distaste for anything John Cusack has done after High Fidelity please join us on these fabulous social networks.

LAGOON

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Lagoon Update: The Taco Bell Formula, Mini-news, Featured Model Bret Ford

18
Feb
0

Well hello sexy sexy people. Hopefully you are still digesting our recent new releases. So far we have gotten great feedback on both the new song, and the new video. Except for Gargamel, who exclaimed he would rather “eat a smurf.” Oh well, cant win them all.

Oh ya… SHOW TOMORROW (Friday, 19th 2010) at Cantab Lounge. I think my liver is ready. I think my liver is ready. I think my liver is ready… More info on the facebook

Also, David has been feeling lonely on his twitter, so add him please @davidtornado. He loves everyone all the time.

Ok, lets rock and roll.

Taco Bell Formula

LAGOON

(Yes, because adding ANOTHER MEAL is what America needs right now)

I am sure that everyone realizes Taco Bell is doing little more than rearranging about 6 ingredients into “new” formations and feeding it back to the general public. Its odd to think that this works but it does (what could be wrong with meat, beans, tortillas salt and cheese?). This is not exactly a pioneering feat. In fact, there are several other, well, systems, which employ what I would like to call the “Taco Bell Formula

#4 Cell Phones and Personal Computers

LAGOON

Don’t get me wrong, the Iphone is arguably the best phone-taco out there, but soon (very soon) there will be an innumerable amount of comparable beef and beans available on the market. All you need is a healthy mix of megapixels, touch screens, wifi, 3g, Internet browsing, applications, and you got yourself a Taco Bell Formula.

This sounds a lot like what happened with PC computers.  Sure there are gaming tacos and business tacos. There are net-tacos and sleek tacos. But, like the Gordita- that spongy beautiful creation- computers are the same taco filling just in a fancy shell. OH, but our beef is a LITTLE better this year. OH, our cheese is sooooo much smoother. OH, Our beans will serve YOUR specific purpose. Oh… wait… I’m still eating a taco.

#3 Social Networking

LAGOON

Facebook, Taco. LinkedIn, Taco. Myspace, gross ass Taco. Twitter, well.. A smaller portion Taco without meat, but still a taco. There are a few features you need to connect humans together in an online medium: status updates, biographies, profile pictures, friending mechanism, and search function. THAT’S IT. I want to know if the domain pooptacofriends.com is taken. If not, I hope you will all join me on pooptacofriends where we can share our steamy piles of refried beans together.

(It’s almost sad. I have only gotten through two taco bell formulas and I am already re-using ingredients in my analogies. OH WAIT, that’s the point).

#2 Politics

LAGOON

This has Taco written all over it. You have heard the same political catch phrases your entire life. You have heard the same political promises your entire life, not very mavericky is it?

Big government or little government?
Taxes or no taxes?
Death penalty or not death penalty?
Abortion or no abortion?
Guns or no guns?
Gays or no gays (marriage)?
Religion or no religion?
More military, less military?

How would you like your taco? Step forward to the next window to vote.

Sounds like a combination of meat and cheese to me; outmoded ideas, in a progressive time. Forgive my mini-rant, but It seems we are only presented with the choice of super mild or and super spicy sauce. Chances are 90% of us prefer something in the medium range.

#1 Every Song on the Radio

Most modern pop music is a simple combination of 4 chords, or beans, or poop… Popularly known as the “Axis of awesome.” This is most easily shown to you by… well… this video… (for people viewing this on Facebooktaco.com you’ll have to click the link. Sorry)

Pretty amazing. Do you find it unnerving that you have been spoon-fed formulaic music the same as you have been, well, “tortilla” fed Taco Bell? Scary. This goes without saying that I really love some of these songs. It’s just a sad realization that they are practically the same.

Some months ago, I spent about an hour on the phone with a AR guy at a record company.  He was familiar with our music, and had listened to our stuff online. His only criticism was that we were not employing the Taco Bell Formula.

“Some of your songs are almost 6 minutes! The names of your songs are too weird. Some of the arrangements are a bit strange”

His advice was to completely re-tool our formula, Taco-it up a little…Uh… No thanks?  We like naming our songs weird things (the next single will be called ”Pansy baby farts”).

As a band, we have always simply played what we hear in our mind, and in our heart. We have no “agenda” in mind. We are not, in anyway, making songs from a recipe with beans and cheese. So, here’s a promise, we will never be another Taco.  Suck it pop music.  Anyway, you guys seem to like it just fine.

Lagoon Featured Model: Bret Ford

Welcome to this weeks Lagoon Featured Taco, err.. I mean Model section. Actually, I’m quite kidding because Bret is far from a taco. These were some of the best pictures from the shoot. Clearly this first one is my favorite, the guy looks like Zeus. Strike that man down.

LAGOON

LAGOON

You can find more pictures on our facebook

We are going to keep a collection of ALL the tacos there for your enjoyment; for everyone’s enjoyment.

We will be featuring one taco per week until we run out of tacos… or beans.

All jokes aside, Thank you so much Bret for doing this. Your photos were awesome.

Thanks again to Vanessa Athens @VanessaAthens for putting this together, and to Hansel Tsai for your photography skills.

Check our storefor frequently updated merchandise, and if you want the SEAFOAM shirt (a Jessica “ Rad Taco” Frease design) you can get them from Café Press here: Cafe Press

Lagoon, not a taco, since 2003.

Wait… so you just incase you haven’t had enough Lagoon ranting or blatant taco jokes here is all the varieties you can shake your stick at, err… shake “a” stick at. STOP SHAKING YOUR STICK.

(No tacos were hurt in the making of this blog, but they were referenced over 45 times…. And right now, @lagoonmarisa is counting to make sure that is an accurate statement…. just in case… taco taco taco taco taco)

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Lagoon Update: News, Five Things That Should Never Exist IRL, Featured Model: Mariel Gomsrud

20
Jan
0

Normally I don’t like to write blogs with any sort of theme. Those of you who read this are used to my frenetic and completely random style of “mind dump” I usually force upon you. This blog will be no different. Ha. What… did you actually think I would change? I WONT CHANGE FOR YOU OK!?

BAND NEWS

We got some great news. The second song in our stream of new music has been sent in to our digital distributor. Should be a few weeks or so, then WHAMMO it will be up on itunes, Amazon, and all that jazz. I think most of you will be pleasantly surprised at the different direction this song takes from our first Episode (Heater Rabbit). This song, entitled “This Life Owes You Nothing,” will showcase more of a slower/melodic sound that Lagoon fans will recognize from our first album graduation (which is free for download on our site here).

Our 5th song on the album, “Straw Thief,” is just about done being recorded, and is headed to LA for some loving this week, then on to be mastered

GO GO GO.

Those of you who are waiting patiently… oh sooo patiently, in regards to the progress of the music video, we promise we will update you the second we know anything. Until then… Wait… and cry.  ahahahha kidding… that would be sad… But let me say this… It’s going to be sooner rather than later… Much sooner.

Five Things I am Happy Do Not Exist

I was watching Star Wars II – The Crap Wars last night in a semi-drunken stupor and I let my imagination roam. I really, for a moment, wished that I could have a light saber. I imagined the limitless applications for such a device: slicing ham, heating up a latte, opening a coconut, shaving, marble sculpting. However, I soon realized that most people, well EVERYONE without proper Jedi training would surely murder him or herself  in short order. So…I asked myself this… “What, besides lightsabers, am I extremely happy do not exist.”

5. Ceti Eels – From Ceti Alpha 5, or was it 6?

No one likes a mind controlling brain parasite, and I venture to believe that Ceti Eels from Star Trek II – Wrath of Khan are the worst. They burrow through your ear into your brain, and eat all the stemmy mushy goodness available, not before you perform any order your master bids you.

LAGOON

Anything good about them?

Yes, actually. Lets say you have an unruly younger sister and you want her to stop playing Jonas brothers and painting your dog’s toenails. You just hold her down, drop a worm in her ear and PRESTO, she takes all of you orders… until the worm matures and she dies. But until then…

If they did exist, how would I get rid of them?
For this section I will defer to a blog I found regarding the removal of mind controlling brain parasites:  Get rid of your mind controlling brain parasites

4. The Rabbit – From Monty Pythons Quest for the Holy Grail

I still believe that this is one of the funniest scenes in movie history; a tiny, cute, furry rabbit completely RAVAGES fully armed knights by decapitating them. Hilarious… but… would I want such a creature to actually exist? No.

LAGOON

Anything good about them?

I really cant think of anything. I am sure they would find some useful applications in the war against terror. But aside from that, they would completely screw up the food chain. Rabbits eating eagles? Ok… Ya… Exactly.

If they did exist, how would I get rid of them?

The easiest way to depart a man-eating rabbit is by the use of a Holy Hand Grenade. Some other treatments, such as modern poisons, only seem to anger the beasts.

3. “Syncing” -From Avatar

For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, I am going to spoil some things for you. Stop reading if you care.

There is something so intimate about pulling out your ponytail, exposing your wavy gross tentacles and connecting it to something else completely foreign. Wait… Intimate? I meant gross. The last thing I would want is my personal ideas being uploaded to the ‘Tree of Collective Thoughts’… Uh… I would be banned from the community almost instantly. I know what you are thinking and YES, apparently the lanky smurf creatures actually use “syncing” to have sex, but that scene was banned from the movie (Banned Avatar Scene article)

LAGOON

Anything good about it?

Sure. You control or a horse, or a gigantic bat thing. Great. Wow. I would rather have a car, and an airplane. At least a car doesn’t understand how I feel emotionally, and the whole community doesn’t realize that it was me who took a dump in his hammock the night before.

If they did exist how would we get rid of them?

Apparently you gotta blow up the big life tree thing. Get a crazy scarred up general to help you.

2. That Heart Ripping Dude from Indian Jones – Temple of Doom

When I first saw this I was a kid, and I had nightmares for weeks. Just the idea of a crazy shaman guy suspending you from a metal cage and tearing your heart out… There is nothing more creepy.

LAGOON

Anything good about it?

Actually, I could imagine some amazing applications in medicine. You can remove a heart with almost ZERO blood loss, perform surgery while it’s still beating and just… Well stick it back in. Other than that, it’s all fucking evil.

If they did exist how would we get rid of them?

Luckily Indy took care of this guy by throwing him off a bridge, but seeing as though he is mortal, I would assume a gunshot would work. You just have to get to him, past his thousands upon thousands of insane heart-hungry followers.

1. Mordor- In General

Mount Doom, Fire, Orcs, and the embodiment of everything evil. In a modern world it would certainly be a place where no one could visit, a breeding ground for brainwashed citizens, a factory for world ending weapons… Wait… This is starting to sound a lot like North Korea but with a gigantic glowing fire eye.. However, I bet Sauron, unlike Kim Jong Il, was not able to get 11 holes in one… Yes… They do claim that. Yes… I do have a link: Kim Jong Il gets 11 Aces

LAGOON

Anything good about it?

Actually, considering it is a constantly erupting volcano, you could probably create a supermassive geothermal power plant on mount doom. I know… it’s a stretch, but what else can come from a hellish desolate area like North Korea, I mean Mordor.

If it did exist, how would you destroy it?

First you need a few more things to actually exist (Hobbits, rings of power, etc…) but once you had those it could be done pretty easily with a helicopter.

Lagoon Featured Model: Mariel Gomsrud

Oh the models keep coming! ahhh! For the love of Seafoam. Oh just kidding. We love you models. This is Mariel, she also has a great site with more of her pictures, as well as, some feature she has been in. Check it out… oh ya… for you guys… she has a TWIN.

LAGOON
LAGOON

You can find more pictures on our facebook
We are going to keep a collection of ALL the models there for your enjoyment; for everyone’s enjoyment.
We will be featuring one model per week until we run out of models… or weeks.
Thank you Mariel for… well just being beautiful… so thank your parents? well no, because it was you who took these pictures. So thank you.

As usual, Thanks to Vanessa Athens @VanessaAthens for putting this together, and to Hansel Tsai for your photography skills.
Check our store for frequently updated merchandise, and if you want the SEAFOAM shirt you can get them from Café Press here: Cafe Press

Do you like us? I mean… REALLY like us? Why not join us on our various social networks, or sign up for our email list on our homepage (no spam, only love… love spam… ahaha just kidding no spam)

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