So, I know it’s been a while- some might say a long time. And it’s true… Sorry.
So what’s been going on?
We had a couple of shows… and if you missed it too bad… AHAHAH. It was great to play at the Middle East and the Cantab again.
On a completely unrelated side note:
My mom called me the other day (she does this frequently) and she asked how the show at the Cantab went. I said it went fine, Marisa (our drummer, nurrrr) played really well, we had a lot of fun, yada yada yada – essentially the exact same conversation I’ve had with my mom about every concert I’ve ever played.
Except… One thing… my mom made a comment about the name “ohhhh, Cantab that’s so clever.” I just nervously responded… Oh ya.. it’s so clever… At the time I had NO IDEA what she was talking about, or what the name Cantab could possibly be about.
Nope… not Can’t Ab.
OH I’m RETARDED CAN TAB.
Ok, Really. So what’s been going on?
You might wonder why we have been so quiet? It’s not really anything fun like Pat got cancer and died. It’s more regular run-of-the-mill stuff like pat ran away to Taiwan, or Tahiti, or Thailand (it’s something that starts with a T).
I wish I was joking, but he’s gone.
We considered calling the police until we saw he was still updating his facebook with pictures:
Then we realized that everything is normal, and that’s just Pat being Pat.
So, we have decided to take some time off- You know Lagoon, we never take time off *cough*- Until pat comes back. We THINK he’ll be popping through our door in a couple of weeks.
Then we are going to gear right up with another online concert! YAY INTERNETS!
Check this Ish Out!
Our friend and all around Stud , Gustave Cadet, set up a really awesome site featuring some amazing artists in all forms- an aggregate collection of interesting works.
I recommend you check it out. Now. No seriously. Right now. It’s a great way to lose some time!
If you don’t, you’re just another ne’er-do-well
SOME OF YOU MIGHT WONDER
What I have been concerning myself with over these last couple months – so here you go – all compiled in a neat little list.
1. I am ecstatic that the Cardinals finally got a QB that isn’t Matt Leinhart. I might actually consider picking up Fitzy on my fantasy team. YES FANTASY IS CLOSE.
2. I just noticed that they finally raised the debt ceiling – politics aside – WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG
3. I read somewhere that they have been making headway in the treatment of Down ’s syndrome. That’s right, the TREATMENT. I thought that was amazing, and proof we are almost exactly like mice.
4. 3 of my orchids are blooming, and I couldn’t be happier. I would have made this #3 but seeing 3. 3 next to each other was really confusing, and I hate typing out the world three. DAMINT. DAAA MINT.
5. I just heard that Red Wine can prevent sunburn… This is not a joke, and explains why my girlfriend heals so quickly from being a lobster.
6. Marisa and I won the B league softball Bronze level championship. I have the mug to prove it.
7. From what I can gather, David is still president and CEO of awesome- but polls show that Ron Perlman is gaining steadily in popularity.
8. Pat really is not in the US, while he is gone I’ve been storing cat feces in his room and the smell has actually IMPROVED.
9. I’ve been collecting cat feces.
Damn It Cohagen
Can you believe it? No, honestly, can you?
It has been exactly two years since we broke ground (and wind) on our third album, and now it is DONE. Phew!
Clicking on the picture above goes directly to itunes, but you might prefer any of the following:
Ahahah, our music is on Zune. Sorry… We really are pulling out all the stops.
This was an endeavor to say the least, we are so happy to have it done, and so excited to get it to you.
Right now this is only a digital release, so make sure to pick up a copy of the liner notes off our website – for free of course – what kind of asses would charge for liner notes- that’s like sitting down to a fancy dinner and having to buy a napkin.
Please let us know what you think, let us know what you love, what you hate, and what you want to see more of.
That’s the good news….
What about the great news?!?
No I don’t have a goiter… And that is not great…. What the F is wrong with you?
The great news is that we have already lined up album #4 which we will start recording in August – So all your feedback we’re going to use to tailor this album, hone it in, draw our sites, hit our mark, nail it on the head… You get it.
Also, if you were wondering, we are not going to call the new album Apollo- Nothing against the lord of the sun (dont want to anger him).
Some of you might wonder why it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. It’s pretty simple: I wanted to make sure I addressed you when I had something substantial, something meaningful.
It’s hard sometimes – the life we have chosen. It has such incredible peaks followed by the lowest of lows (read over the past blogs on this site and you can see for yourself). However, every time we’ve felt we were on the brink, about the lose it all, something comes along and pushes us forward… has to be something to that?
Thank you to all our fans that have made this worth it. I hope you know that all our work goes to you, we just want to make you happy, and blast your ear drums with glory.
On a completely unrelated note, my March Madness Bracket is so F’ed. Even without playing tonight’s championship game, David has claimed victory:
NO OFFENSE LARRY
Not really a band update, but I figured I would share this with you.
Without fail, I severely burn myself every 3 to 4 years. In highschool, it was an iron to the upper arm. In college, it was a flaming marshmallow to the nose. And most recently it was an extremely hot cup of tea on my testicles.
Granted, the mark this burn left on me was far more emotional than physical. I could say that, other than a few red spots, small blisters and missing hair, I am 100% ok.
I had just sat down on the couch to watch some football. The Colts were losing to the eagles, and I was enjoying a little facebook surfing. My girlfriend had picked up a new variety of tea, something that boasted SUPER antioxidant power so I thought I would try it. I always imagine antioxidants as cancer police in my blood, roaming around chomping free radicals. The extent of my scientific knowledge on the subject ends there.
The tea pot whistled. I got my favorite mug. I poured some water. Plopped in the tea bag and set it on the somewhat stable couch arm… It happened exactly how you are now picturing it. I sat down, brushed the glass with my elbow, and in slow motion watched it slip down the arm of the couch dumping the complete contents on my lightly clothed pasty white inner thigh.
The involuntary reaction was spectacular. My laptop went flying. I let out a very high pitched yelp, and then pulled my pants down. My brain at this point ceased to grasp the situation. My pants lay in a steaming pile beneath me, but instead of, well… covering myself up, I simply stood there assessing the damage.
Like a curious and shocked rodent with an injured limb, I inspected for any serious problems and checked functionality. Not at all realizing that I was, in fact, completely naked from the waste down staring at my own now turtling genitals in front of three very large unfiltered windows two stories above what could only be described as a busy city street.
My second embarrassment followed when, in a panic, I pulled my pants back up to find that they were nearly as hot as they were 30 seconds before (damn you water and your high specific heat!). So I pulled them back down, and finally wandered into my room wearing only my gym shoes, no pants, and a waist long white undershirt.
Had you been walking below my apartment at ~ 7:23pm November 7th 2010 you would have seen the following sequence of events.
1. A man jumps up from his couch throwing his laptop 3 feet into the air
2. Said man turns towards 3 large windows and pulls down his pants
3. Man continues to stand there staring and moving his genitals around in such a away that he could be described as looking “inquisitive”
4. Man pulls pants back up
5. Man throws pants back down.
6. Man turns around and walks slowly into his room
7. Man returns a few seconds later with a bag of frozen broccoli
8. Man puts broccoli on his crotch.
Broccoli, is there anything you cant do?
Hi. I am le tired. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to try for you. I will always try for you, my deer.
I am not going to lie, going into this I had no idea what to expect. I knew that was going to be on a “panel” (I was thinking supreme court). Luckily it was far more awesome with a lot less old politicians. The discussion portion of the night was followed up by a performance. I couldn’t think of anything more fulfilling. Shedding the wall between stage and fan in such a delegated way is brilliant.
It was difficult to gauge this performance on a normal scale. It was rather different. The oddity of talking to and interacting with other like minded bands BEFORE performing is something I’m not used to. In fact, talking about Lagoon’s social media strategy amongst anyone but my closest peers is something completely foreign to me.
I do have to say that I got an inkling of something special here. It seems that a number of performers, or even those who put on this show, were a little let down by the turn out. However, RockShop is certainly onto something, and as it grows (and I certainly hope they keep this up for a long time) ingraining new technology and means of communication within the panel and discussion section will add to validity to it all. It makes me excited for things to come.
I’ll Spock this shit and just say “The success of the many outweighs the success of the few.”
I recommend everyone take a second and get to meet the other performers. I don’t need to say much else but I implore you to take a look, dive into these other musicians lives. You’ll see a lot of similarities and hear a lot of great music.
Aaron Perrino (Of the Sheila Divine)
Lagoon ( YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT)
Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling
I will include pictures from our set at the end, but for a more in-depth rundown, video footage, as well as an aggregate of the night’s blog reports check out Michael J Epstein’s blog you can also check out Georg Capalbo’s Flickr for some panel pictures )
Very Special Thanks to Charles McEnerney @wellroundedradi (for making me feel ok that I was a tad late to the panel) and Clay @mideastclub (We love the Middle East and Happy Birthday!)
Promo Video – Gustave destroys your soul
Gustave has decided to put our ugly faces to the test again and film us a Promo Video. For those of you who don’t know Gustave, he is the Manius (man+genius) that created our first video (Marisa and I also agree that he looks like a very huggable person).
Ok, I actually cant give you any more details on this project except that filming will start October 16th.
I am such a tease. Ahahahaha. Ok I’m not… I give it up pretty easily. You just have to ask… But not about the promo. I wont give that up. That’s my cherry. It’s my Promo Cherry. Wow, ok, not going down that road again… AGAIN!?!
(said like Rufio)
So, Lagoon is continuing its transition phase. David has been diligently working on our studio, and is looking forward to us not playing shows for a little bit. Sadly, that’s what the rest of us like to do, and that’s how we get to love all over you. Trust me, it will be worth it. It’s like a butterfly, we’re cocooning. My analogies today are horrible.
Oh, Also, it was my birthday this week. Yay. I’m 12 now. Here is a picture of my sister and my girlfriend eating a gigantic pineapple gummy bear.
F**king bats are awesome!
2010 Biology Nobel Prize
“A description of the sexual antics of the short-nosed fruit bat earned the award for Gareth Jones at Bristol University and collaborators in China. The team showed that females who performed oral sex on their mates copulated for longer”
First of all, what does a bat penis look like? Maybe that’s just where my mind goes first, but really, what does it look like. I guess it’s a good thing these are short nosed bats and not the long nosed variety. It might make that action a little more difficult, considering the strange contour of a little bat face.
“It is the first documented case of fellatio by adult animals other than humans to my knowledge, and opens questions about whether female animals can manipulate males via sexual activity, perhaps in this case to improve their chances of successful fertilisation,” Jones told the Guardian. He planned to demonstrate the behaviour at the ceremony using puppets.”
If everyone who discovered a strange sexual act then reenacted it using puppets was given a Nobel Prize half of california would have one. Think for one moment… Where would be the most inappropriate place to have puppet sex? Yep, you guessed it… A Nobel acceptance speech. Not only that, where do you get a Bat Puppet. Not only that, an anatomically correct Bat Puppet. Oh that’s right, YOU DON’T. so that means that this guy is going to fabricate a bat puppet and bat penis out of some sort of felt probably, which brings me back to my original problem: What does a G-ddamn bat penis look like!?
Ok, lets get on to some pictures. A couple of these photos might be doctored.
THANKS FOR THE BAT PICTURE JILL
A final, but potent quote:
Me: I need a quote for this week
(Marisa getting ready to rock)
On the hierarchy of “losing things” your vehicle tends to be a priority, so you could imagine our amazement when we walked out to corner to find that our extremely large bright red van missing.
“Hum… I know for a fact I parked the van here,” said Pat.
And then it started raining.
Marisa had already claimed my umbrella for her hair which was frizzing itself into a knot. The rest of us reached for our phones and madly started googling. I think my first entry was “My can was Towde” (Give me a break, it’s a new phone and I am just learning). Within minutes, we determined the Red Beast was being held at a nearby impound lot.
With less than an hour until we had to load in for the show, we were all happy that retrieving our van was relatively easy. Handing over money for something we never wanted done in the first place proved to be more difficult. I remember the stale impound office room, at least one sweaty overweight man judging us, while the other happily rang Pat’s credit card. $$
On our way to get our equipment, I remember staring out the window hoping that this was the last strange thing to happen that night.
A few seconds later we lightly struck a mail truck (Incriminating picture has been purposefully left off).
When we arrived at the Middle East I felt much more at ease. We spent some time enjoying drinks and food in the lobby with some friends. In retrospect, beans, grease, and heavy spices were probably the last thing I should have eaten. I did not know that the stage was going to sweat up like a sauna… I got very few hugs after the show. David got a lot of hugs…
The concert went very well. I should have brought up a second bottle of water (or beer?). If one were to judge our performance based on how much bodily fluid we were covered in, I would say we did swimmingly. Things got even more interesting the second we got off the stage. I had an argument with the booking lady, Pat had an argument with a cab driver, everyone else drank and slipped away.
No Bodily Harm
Let us for a second return to our previous graph.
It’s not something we did on purpose, but in the mess of loading out our equipment, recounting the night’s activities, and drinking we lost someone. I mean, full on lost someone. Let me clarify, it’s not that we just “left” someone at the club or at the practice space. We simply lost a human being. They got out of the van when no one was around and just wandered off. It is the exact same feeling you have when you lose a dog, a drunk dog, a large drunk dog, a large really drunk dog that’s actually a person.
We managed to scrounge up a couple large Mag-lights and began scouring the neighborhood. I think David’s neighbors thought:
A. We murdered someone and was burying them in a hole dug from inebriated screams.
B. We had lost our dog, but we were going about retrieving him in a way that would simply scare him more.
C. We were so drunk that we thought flashlights talked to Jesus.
Now, the most interesting fact is that this person (who shall remain namless) some how slipped passed all our searching, responded to ZERO name calls, ducked under the cover of the night and crawled BACK into the rear of the van. Pat, who was driving, suddenly realized some other human had just flopped down on the cold metal floor. He was now asleep. We had found him.
Where he was, what he did, and why he did it shall remain a mystery.
As we pulled away, David texted me almost immediately after. Apparently a bat had gotten into his house. If this had anything to do with the fact we covered the True Blood theme song at the show I don’t know. I would like to think it did.
****Imagine X-Files Theme****
And now for a picture trip through the rest of our weekend.
COME SAY HI ON THINGS
Hello Friends and welcome to the Lagoon Blog. Happy New Year!!! Holy crap am I happy 2009 is over. How freaky is that today is ALSO a blue moon. You know what they say… yuck yuck yuck.
We have been spending a ton of time on the new material, and 2 more songs are almost finished. INSANITY! We are pretty close to releasing EPISODE II of our stream of new music. Man… isn’t this fun? (in case you missed EPISODE I – HEATER RABBIT)
Well there’s not too much else I have to cover here. So how about I just inundate you with a ton of pictures… ready… set… GO!
You can find more pictures on our facebook page at www.facebook.com/lagoonband
2009 (and some 2008) – New Years Ghetto Phone Picture Album
I have a ghetto cell phone; Samsung model U 420 “Coldwar edition“. It’s pathetic since out of anyone in the band I would probably benefit the most from a “smart-phone.”
Well… Poppycock… Smartphones with their megi-pixals, and their LDC Tooch Screens, and their Appolocations… Poppycock on you.
I spent half my time with this phone snappin pictures so I could bring you a glimpse into my life via lo-fidelity horrible grainy-ness. This took me an insane amount of time since I don’t have the USB cord for this phone, and I could not get it to transfer the files over bluetoothy. I literally had to send 50 picture messages TO MY EMAIL (lord think of the cell bill. Fuck, what am I doing?) Also, when I uploaded the pictures they got all jumbled. Goodbye chronological order. Hello Serendipity.
2009 (and some 2008) – New Years Ghetto Phone Picture Album
“I swear you see the strangest things on the freeway these days”
“The infamous MFW Robot”
“One of my oldest friends, Leigh“
“This is my old roommate Ryan. I don’t think he ever knew i took this picture but it is still what comes up whenever he calls me. I hope he reads this”
“This is pretty prophetic, but… turned out to be more than just a vacation. “
“You can dance if you want to you, you can leave your friends behind….”
“Yes, this is a real dog. Yes, it belongs in a Dr. Seuss novel.”
“I saved a Camel.”
“I realize I primarily take pictures of Pets and Alcohol.”
“… And don’t piss on this sign as well.”
“LA in October… damn you California”
“Take Sunset to the sea…..”
“A Shot of the crowd in AZ, great show”
“I love the night life, I love to booogaaayyy”
“I keep an unhealthy collection of scotch in my room”
“Bumble Bee Tuna?”
“David rocks the pink guitar so well”
“After being mentally scarred, I keep my room spotless.”
“I love this guitar”
“Jeff brings the pain… pain to the mix”
“Best Birthday Present Ever!”
“My Name is Jacob… Not Pigo…”
“I fuxored up myself”
“How not to take care of a rental car by Marisa“
” …seconds before she dismembered me”
“THOSE ARE SOME PANCAKES MAN”
“Just two grown men sharing some chocolate milk”
“Yes, I will take the ‘Happy Ending Sundae’ please… Oh i have to follow you into the back?”
“I really do love living here.”
“That suit… is just amazing”
“The Tattoo before it was filled in.”
“A snow drive back from New Hampy”
“The liberty Hotel… FANCY PARTIES BOOYA”
“The backside of the Ben and Jerry’s factory… and the Backside of Pat… wait frontside of pat? I cant tell”
“Seafoam underwear anyone?”
“Rooftop 4th of July Party”
“Holy shit this is cute”
“I have pretty good timing.”
“70′s style stache anyone?”
“We have to keep her chained up… then we let her out to play… then chain her up again.”
“Scotch + Music = my life”
“Probably the strangest thing ever written on a refrigerator”
“I miss you Squirrel”
“We should charge a cover to enter our house”
“Can you solve the puzzle?!?!”
“The correct formation for X-Y style overhead mic-ing, or something, ask Jeff”
“I drank this, and to my surprise I lived…I survived ‘the hard.’”
“This was what I ate for three weeks”
“He is so happy to be a baby cucumber.”
“Silly wabbits, poker is for people with too much jewelry and cowboy hats, or… actually poker is cool… Dont tell David I said that”
“Happy Christmas Cake”
“Happy Christmas Scotch”
Who knows what 2010 will bring… Actually I know… Tons more music from Lagoon… YOU GONNA LISTEN!? I bet you are… I bet you are you silly sailor you… Yes… you’re a silly sailor… You’re MY silly Sailor aren’t you?
Do you like us? I mean… REALLY like us? Why not join us on our various social networks, or sign up for our email list on our homepage (no spam, only love… love spam… ahaha just kidding no spam)
(for all the free lagoon tunes you can possibly digest and not get sick on: www.lagoononline.com)
Before I get down to the normal band news I want to take a moment bring everyone’s attention to a great cause.
Tomorrow, September 29th is going to be an ALL DAY tweet-a-thon to raise money for the charity Doctors Without Borders starting at 12am: http://12for12k.org/events/
@HennArtOnline will be tweeting for 24 hours straight to try to raise $12,000. You should definitely add her, and help spread the word! Also, check out the page and see what you can do to help and possibly be a part of a Guiness Book Record!
(A very special congrats to @mickeyGomez and @ramartijr for bringing this is our attention and helping make this work!)
As you know, Lagoon is dedicated to bringing love and attention to the right causes. Take a moment and see what you can do.
So, lots of stuff ON THE MOVE already. Our 4th song is currently in LA being mixed, our 5th song is almost done. We are planning to get a single released very soon, and we are all extremely excited about how it is turning out.
Also, my good friend Jeff will be headed out to Boston in early October to help finalize some stuff regarding our recordings. We will have much more news coming out quickly regarding the Tucson Arizona show on Saturday October 24th. Be excited.
To tide you over, here is a cool picture of @lagoonpmac
Tickles and Peanuts
Say hello to my 16 year old self:
I figured for today’s Lagoon Update I would treat everyone to a little bit of my horrible past with women. I have not always been the ladies man I am today (HA HA). Lets go back… way back… all the way to 1999 in a Subway Sandwich shop.
(At this point, please imagine a Wayne’s World type flashback, complete with cool hand dancing, wavy lines ands whimsical music).
“Extra Tomatoes please,” I said as her fingers loosely separate the juicy slices. She took such care in removing the ones with green spots. “Is that all,” She said with a smile. “Yes, that’s perfect.” Everyday, I would drive an extra 10 miles and wait 10 minutes in line just so I could have one or two lines of meaningless dialogue with this girl. She was my Subway obsession.
One day in the spring of 1999, or in Arizona we like to call it February, I arrived early to find that no one was making sandwiches. Actually, it looked like no one was working. I wandered around awkwardly for a few minutes before I finally looked around the corner and said, “hello?” I heard a rustling from the kitchen, then a loud bang followed by an intense yelp.
“Are you ok?” I said leaning over the glass. For a few moments there was no response. Weird noises continued until finally my lady’s head popped around the corner. “ I’m fine. I am just the only one here… And the lettuce… The lettuce is everywhere. Would you mind just coming back in a few minutes?” I paused for a second and sucked up every bit of 16-year-old balls I had and said, “Well, how about I help you?”
Before she could respond I had grabbed the broom from the corner, and whisked back into kitchen where it looked like 50 heads of lettuce had just thrown up. I started on the floor, and she focused on counters. We worked so frantically that we didn’t even talk, and magically, fatefully, not a soul walked in the front door.
When we got done I said, “Well miss, I will take a sandwich please, with…” “Extra tomatoes,” she said finishing my sentence. I started to say something, but stopped mid-sentence letting out an awkward squeak instead of words. I again watched her meticulously build my sandwich, as at least 8 people walked in the door and piled up behind me. She bagged my sandwich, rang me up, and before I could even say goodbye she motioned to the next guy in line and said, “What can I get for you?”
I was so dejected. My golden opportunity lost. My one moment of chivalry wasted. Then I realized I had forgotten to buy a soda! I got back in line. I waited 10 more minutes, got a soda, opened my mouth and…. “Ok who’s next,” she said, cutting me off. “Fuck!” I thought to myself. Maybe it was my new found level of testosterone, or my lack of caffeine, but I then just blurted out, “Lets go out sometime.” There was a very long and unnerving pause by everyone in line. “I mean… You know… How about I just get your number?” I said playing it off. The girl looked at me, smiled, and wrote her number on the back of my receipt.
I remember thinking “Stephanie, what a great name,” but I don’t remember leaving the store (it is my belief that I literally floated to my car). I called her that night and we had a long and wonderful conversation. We even set up a date for Saturday. We were going to meet for a day of fun at CrackerJacks, the local putt-putt golf and arcade.
By the time Saturday rolled around I knew exactly what I was going to wear, what I was going to say, and how I was going to act. I had it planned down to the very moment that I would move in to kiss her. We would embrace in passion, our lives intertwined as one person. I knew in my heart that I could love this girl forever.
We played Putt-Putt, and went to the batting cages. We even got some ice cream and sat on a cement block outside. We talked about life, school, which classes we loved, and what things we hated. The only hiccup occurred when we started playing in the arcade. In a moment of passion I smacked her in the face with one of those mallets used to bang moles. “Are you ok?!?” “I am fine,” she said laughing and holding her face. I touched the small of her back and moved forward to see if she was bleeding. At that moment she squirmed violently and said, “I am sooooo ticklish.”
By this time it was after 4pm and my heart sank as I saw the silhouette of her mom’s car pull in front of the large clear entrance doors. The carriage to take my slipper-less princess away had arrived. My moment was now or never. We both stood up, and hand-in-hand we strolled slowly through the crowds of people bustling in. About 10 yards from the door I said something sarcastic. Stephanie turned and gave me a light punch on the arm. Out of instinct, I went for a tickle… And I was about to learn how ticklish some people really are.
The moment my fingers touched the side of Stephanie her entire body flexed. Every one of her muscles convulsed, her arms pushed inwards, and her knees bent. What I did not realize would happen, but what was the result of my tickle, was the loudest and most disgusting fart I have ever heard in my life. The sheer volume of it baffles me to this day. It must have been stored at incredible pressures in her gut. It came out in three or four waves of rushing air, as I believe the embarrassment of the first one just made every thing even tenser.
People stopped dead in their tracks to see what was going on. At this moment, as horrible as it sounds, I was laughing hysterically. With My eyes watering, I could barely stand. The smell was awful. It was like a mix between roasted peanuts and rotten baby food. The whole gaseous event lasted at least 10 seconds, as waves of the tremors from the initial quake rippled through the crowds of now laughing people.
The last I ever saw of Stephanie was her running through the large glass doors out towards her mom’s car. I tried calling a few times to no avail. All I will ever have is my memories, my memories of the smallest girl with the loudest… uh… laugh?
Don’t forget to come visit us on facebook: www.facebook.com/lagoonband
If you like our band, and you like what we do, all we ask is that you talk about us. Come say hi, download our tunes, tell a friend. That’s all it takes =)